topdollar.dk

Tja, hvis du er ejendomsmægler har du verdensrekorden.. En gns. ejendomsmægler formår at kaste, kaste, en sten godt 150 m. En diskos kan kastes ca. 75 m, så det er faktisk ret godt gået.

Home har pt. rekorden med en mælger der har rundet 300 m stenkast..

Imponerende… Se kilden her

Når danskere taler engelsk, men tænker på dansk……!

I am in the beginning of my period (Marianne Jelved)
Screw down your expectations (Richard Møller Nielsen til
verdenspressen)

We wanted to play with long balls (Dansk landsholdsspiller)
Two chocolate balls, please (Biker-Jens i bagerforretning i USA )
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid (Information til
gæsterne på dansk hotel)

The prick over the I (Jytte Hilden)

Til en tjener på en engelsk restaurant: ‘I would like to pay the
building’

Dansker på en engelsk pub: ‘Can I borrow the toilet?’

Dansker på vej ud fra toget i Underground i London: ‘Let’s get out in
a fart!’

Hørt på lejr: Please don’t clean your dishes in the shower. Use the
snake outside instead

En dansk turist forsøgte at krydse gaden i New York og var nær blevet
mejet ned af flere biler. En politimand havde set det hele og råbte:
- Did you come here to die? Turisten råbte tilbage: No, I came
yesterday

En dansk advokat var på ferie i London og var ude i byen med nogle
venner om aftenen. Da de skulle hjem, tog de en taxi, og advokaten
skulle sidde foran ved siden af chaufføren. Advokaten åbnede døren
til højre og konstaterede: Oh yes, the rat is on the other side here
in England

Dansker på engelsk restaurant: I would like to have a bloody beef
please. Efter en lille pause siger tjeneren: And maybe you want it
with some fucking potatoes?

En dansker spurgte en englænder: ‘Do you have a smoke?’ – hvorpå
englænderen svarede høfligt, men ironisk: I’m sorry, but I don’t
cigarette’

En dansk familie med engelske middagsgæster: ‘We serve fishingballs
to dinner’ Engelsk gæst: ‘I didn’t know the fish had balls!’

Dansker, som blev stoppet af engelsk politi: Excuse me, what is the
fart limit?

Amerikansk ‘far’ til familiens danske au pair-pige: Do you want to
use the rest room before we drive cross State?’ Pigen: ‘No, I can do
it in the car’

Dansker til en skotsk tjener efter forgæves at have gennemsøgt
morgenbuffeten: ‘Do you have round-pieces in the hole taken?’

En dansker kom til at fyre en ordentlig bøvs af på en engelsk pub
Folk kiggede lidt underligt på ham, og hans respons var rimelig
højlydt: ‘To rape is not a crime’

Ved indvielsen af olie- og gasmesse i Norge: This is the biggest mess
I have ever seen

Dansker på tyrkisk bar: Tomorrow I want to go to the bitch with an
umbrella

Et par eksempler på hvorledes engelsk ikke bør skrives..

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF
DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN
THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
TIME.

Vidste du at man rent faktisk kan lave et lop i ishockey??

Tjek det her europakort, det er sku’ meget god humor..

Tjek lige den her liste over jammerlige kodeord.. Fårk nogle mennesker tænker sig ikke om!

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